No Contact Order

Allison’s mother was confused when she received the call. Her daughter, a sophomore at a prestigious university, had been issued a "No Contact Order" – not because of any serious accusation, but because of a roommate dispute that had escalated beyond typical college drama.

What once might have been resolved through a heart-to-heart conversation or mediation had instead become a formal legal-sounding document with "bulleted lists of prohibited behaviors."

This scenario is becoming increasingly common on college campuses across America. No Contact Orders, once utilized for sexual assault accusations, are now being used by some college students to avoid people they do not like, becoming the go-to solution for a generation uncomfortable with face-to-face conflict.

For parents sending their teenagers to college, this trend reveals something profound about how today's young adults navigate interpersonal challenges. Many of these students grew up communicating through screens, where blocking someone is as simple as clicking a button. The digital generation has mastered the art of avoidance, unfollowing, muting, and blocking their way out of uncomfortable situations. When they arrive at college, they're often unprepared for the messy reality of sharing physical spaces with people they'd rather not encounter.

The psychological implications are significant. While these formal orders may provide temporary relief from conflict, they don't teach essential life skills such as communication, compromise, and conflict resolution. Students who rely on institutional intervention for minor disputes miss opportunities to develop emotional resilience and interpersonal problem-solving capabilities that will serve them throughout their careers and relationships.

College administrators find themselves in an increasingly difficult position. These orders are typically issued when there's "reasonable concern that physical or psychological harm may result from such contact," but the definition of psychological harm has expanded considerably. What constitutes genuine need for protection versus an inability to cope with normal social friction has become blurred.

For college-bound students and their parents, understanding this landscape is crucial. Before heading to campus, families should discuss conflict resolution strategies, the importance of direct communication, and when it's appropriate to seek administrative help versus working through interpersonal challenges independently. Students need to understand that while these orders exist as protective measures, they shouldn't be the first response to every uncomfortable social situation. Students can reach out to their resident advisors or older students trained in conflict resolution.

If your teenager hasn't left for college yet, now is the time to prioritize these skills. High school provides a safer environment to practice difficult conversations and work through conflicts, while parents can still offer guidance and support. Use everyday disagreements, whether with family members, friends, teachers, or coaches, as teaching moments. Help your teen navigate these situations directly rather than avoiding them, so they arrive on campus with real experience in face-to-face problem-solving rather than just theoretical knowledge about conflict resolution.

The goal isn't to eliminate all conflict from college life – it's to help young adults develop the emotional intelligence and communication skills they'll need long after graduation, when there won't be a student conduct office to mediate every difficult conversation.